Just like how rules were meant to be broken, prisons were meant to be broken out of, and movies have literally and figuratively given us much escapist entertainment over the years.

Prison movies are especially fun when we’re not just talking iron bars. A great number of filmmakers over the years have imagined prisons of the future or other unconventional clinks. This new film “Lockout” (read my review) imagines we might send the worst of our kind into stasis lockup in outer space. It might not be the best use of taxpayer dollars, but it begs the question: what are some of the other coolest movie prisons?

10. Cook County Jail – “Chicago”

Maybe it’s my hometown bias, or maybe it’s because in “Chicago,” we only see the women’s ward—unusual for a movie featuring prison anything—and these women are tough, shameless killers. The “Cell Block Tango” number has no equal in musical history, and Rob Marshall makes it a highlight of the 2002 Best Picture winner.

9. Tie: Terminal Island (“Death Race”) and ICS Studios (“The Running Man”)

Since both these films use prisons in the same context—a dystopia in which convicts are essentially pitted against each other for the amusement of the masses—I’ve combined them. If we’re honest with ourselves, the only way to make a prison movie exciting is to either make it a heavyweight drama of Oscar-contending proportions, have someone try to escape the prison, or have the inmates duke it out. In the case of “The Longest Yard,” the lattermost option was something sane (football), but in these movies it’s about a battle to the death. ICS Studios puts on an “American Gladiators”-type competition while the folks in charge of Terminal Island load up cars with weapons. Ah, perhaps the Romans had it right.

8. The Phantom Zone – Superman Series

Richard Donner’s idea for how to show the imprisonment of General Zod and his lackeys turned into one of the most lasting images from the original “Superman.” The Phantom Zone has only really been explored in the TV series “Smallville,” but where better to put the most dangerous criminals than in another dimension? The fact that it’s a floating piece of diamond-shaped glass is just icing.

7. Plastic Prison – “X2: X-Men United”  

When your most dangerous criminal is a man who can manipulate metal, imprisoning him becomes a hell of a task. So, Bryan Singer and the folks behind ”X2: X-Men United” constructed this incredibly memorable prison entirely out of plastic. Although highlighted at the end of the first film with a lovely game of chess between Magneto and Professor X, Magneto’s breakout in “X2” makes for one of the more unusual escapes in movie history.

6. Fiorina 161 – “Alien 3″

Although this third installment (famously the directorial debut of David Fincher) started the downward trajectory of the “Alien” franchise, it had an interesting prison concept that was perhaps part of the inspiration behind “Lockout.” Ripley’s ship crash lands on a prison planet/colony called Fiorina 161, which is better known as “Fury.” The planet is inhabited by “Double-Y chromosome” males who have committed acts of physical and sexual violence. The are few more novel ideas than sending perverts and murderers into space.

5. Erehwon – “Face/Off” 

Don’t have the means to ship your criminals off into space? An oil rig in the middle of the ocean will do. Knowing what John Travolta and Nicolas Cage would become, it’s a little embarrassing to like John Woo’s 1997 film these days, but it was definitely cool. In order to get the location of a bomb, Travolta’s character must infiltrate this top-secret prison while wearing Cage’s face. The other interesting tidbit is that all the inmates wear heavy iron boots, most likely to keep them from planning any escape that involves swimming.

4. Azkaban – Harry Potter Series 

In creating the amazing world of “Harry Potter,” author J.K. Rowling had to imagine how wizards would imprison their most dangerous criminals. Despite “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” coming first, we don’t really get to see the place until “Order of the Phoenix” when Voldemort breaks his old friends out. It’s every bit as creepy as we’re led to believe. For fans of the series’ dark direction, it can be said that the arrival of a darker edge in these films happens simultaneously with the arrival of the soul-sucking Dementors, the specters who guard Azkaban and descend upon Hogwarts in the third film.

3. Alcatraz – “Escape from Alcatraz”

Considering that it exists as part of actual United States history, Alcatraz has fascinated a number of storytellers, from the folks that put together this film starring Clint Eastwood to Michael Bay (“The Rock”) and Brett Ratner (“X-Men: The Last Stand”). Supposedly inescapable, the alleged story of the one man who did it lives on in this film as well as many other stories. Simply, The Rock belongs on this list.

2. Shawshank State Prison - “The Shawshank Redemption”

Although dramatic entries and run-of-the-mill penitentiaries have been skipped thus far, Shawshank would’ve still made this list on name alone, aside from coming from one of the most universally loved films of all time. Frank Darabont proves (and Stephen King would later again prove) its not the prison but the people inside it that makes a great prison movie. You become truly immersed in the subculture of this prison, which ultimately leads to this film’s classic status.

1. Manhattan Island Prison – “Escape from New York”

Here’s an idea: when a city gets downtrodden enough to the point that it’s full of criminals and vagrants, why not turn it into a self-contained prison? One of John Carpenter’s many gems ideas, and unquestionably the biggest inspiration for “Lockout,” Manhattan Island Prison proves that prison is much more interesting when it’s a playground with its own rules.

One of the first ever posts on Movie Muse was my Top 10 Superhero films, a celebration of a genre near and dear to my heart, or at least one that I love to dissect more than most considering I’m a product of the superheroes on TV/film era. Yet as many triumphs as we’ve witnessed in the 21st Century thanks to passionate and capable directors like Bryan Singer, Sam Raimi and Christopher Nolan, there have been plenty of stinkers.

Perhaps we superhero movie-lovers have sophisticated palates. We’ve seen the genre go to unfathomable depths of quality and entertainment, enough so that we can’t simply be awestricken by seeing these beloved heroes take the big screen. Yet there have been times when movie studios did not recognize this, times when studios were more interested in cashing in and maintaining the rights to these characters than delivering quality. “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” is one such example, but I’m omitting it here in fairness to giving it some time.

Hulk (2003)

I admire Ang Lee for wanting to tell the emotional story of The Incredible Hulk and for his attempts to honor the comic-book style on screen, but there’s a reason this Marvel hero’s catchphrase is “Hulk Smash!” “Hulk” doesn’t get the job done from the action perspective, so despite not being among the worst from a filmmaking standpoint (a 62% on Rotten Tomatoes), it ranks along the bottom from a crowd-pleaser standpoint.

Daredevil (2003)

Well, 2003 was a bad year for superhero adaptations (aside from “X2: X-Men United”). After the early success of the “Spider-Man” and “X-Men” franchises, studios (especially 20th Century Fox) actively thrust other properties into high gear, but without taking into account what made films such as “Spider-Man” and “X-Men” good. For “Daredevil,” Fox went with a big name in Ben Affleck and threw together a lackluster cast of supporting characters, namely Bullseye (Colin Farrell) and the Kingpin (Michael Clarke Duncan), then cut all the dark and violent parts from Mark Steven Johnson’s film. The result wasn’t awful, but Spider-Man was the event of 2002 and fresh in audiences minds. Moviegoers have not since gotten over the letdown.

Fantastic Four (2005)

Perhaps the biggest failure of the aughties Marvel film adaptations (yet again under Fox’s supervision) was Tim Story’s take on “Fantastic Four.” The director of Barbershop and Taxi had no business making a superhero movie. Like other failures before it, the film suffered from a shoddy script and hollow characters. The exploration of the family dynamic was amateur at best and the whole film really came off as being for pre-teens. The casting of Jessica Alba ended up a misfire too, even if she looked good standing in her underwear on the Brooklyn Bridge. The sequel in 2007 was better, but only because of the Silver Surfer.

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

How the story of Frank Castle has failed to translate to the big screen is beyond comprehension. It’s a revenge story, people. Lionsgate screwed it up even more in this 2008 effort that went down as the least successful film based on a Marvel property. It made $10 million after opening on Dec. 5 that year … worldwide … total. Lionsgate yanked it after three weekends. Critics deemed the film a poor knockoff of an ‘80s action movie.

Ghost Rider (2007)

Apparently, Fox and Mark Steven Johnson didn’t learn anything the first time around with “Daredevil.” The two paired up again at the tail end of Marvel’s superhero film lull between 2003 and 2008 and delivered a very similar aesthetic full of hollow characters more soulless than Johnny Blaze himself. The film’s unremarkable $228.7 million worldwide gross gave Fox some pause, which led to the big gap between this film and this weekend’s sequel. Hopefully they learned from this mistake.

Spawn (1997)

“Spawn” should have never been made in 1997. Although the special effects weren’t awful, Todd McFarlane’s comic was too dark and crazy to be given a decent adaptation in the late ‘90s, which has to be considered the absolute pit of superhero filmmaking. I don’t know if I just grew wise being 10 years old, but this was the first film during which I was cognizant of the attempt to set up a sequel. Good thing New Line spared us of it.

Superman III (1983)

If you didn’t know that Richard Donner had basically directed “Superman II,” not Richard Lester, you could guess it after seeing how Lester did on his own. Producer Ilya Salkind is largely considered to blame for both the director situation and the addition of Richard Pryor, simply because he liked the comedian. Christopher Reeve’s performance is unsung, but the campy tone of this film when compared to its predecessors is shameful. The fourth film might be considered the worst, but comes as less a surprise after this one’s shortcomings. Lest we forget, the guys in “Office Space” used the same brilliant scheme hatched in this dud.

Elektra (2005)

Spin-offs are a risky business, especially when you spin off a movie that people didn’t like. I love Jennifer Garner, but she got thrown under the bus here thanks to her contract with Fox for “Daredevil.” Let’s not forget her character died in that movie, so that had would-be fans puzzled from the get-go, as did the marketing tying it to “X-Men” instead of its direct predecessor. “Elektra” stands as a lesson to studios that audiences actually are picky when it comes to their superhero movies.

Batman & Robin (1997)

As I mentioned before, the late ‘90s were not a good time for superhero films. Studios didn’t know how to handle them, so Warner Bros. and Joel Schumacher gave us the steaming pile that was “Batman & Robin.” The drive behind these films at the time was giving the people a memorable display and making the story work around it. To drum-up audience excitement, the ‘90s “Batman” films had to have two villains, a writer’s nightmare, not to mention balancing the Batman and Robin dynamic. Top this one off with Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl and you can understand why writer Akiva Goldsman failed/didn’t care. Casting George Clooney speaks to the objective of this film better than words, and the dialogue, namely from Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, says the rest. I won’t even mention Bane—oops.

Catwoman (2004)

No, I haven’t seen this, but I pity anyone willing to admit they’ve seen enough of this film to challenge me on this one. Many would deem this among the worst movies of all time, let alone superhero films. Maybe I’ll find a way to watch it some time when I feel like assuring myself that I could in fact make a better superhero movie with $100 million at my disposal than French random Pitof.

At first, people were just upset that Halle Berry had jumped from the Marvel to the DC universe to portray another character, but soon her appearance in this film became the laughing stock of Hollywood and the general public. The Oscar winner’s career never recovered, either. One can only shake his or her head at the producers in the early 2000s who decided that lady-led superhero films should be spin-offs written without the least bit of concern for character or anything, really. Eventually, someone will dispel the stigma this and Elektra put on superhero femmes.

Few actors have a career comparable to that of Liam Neeson’s. The Irish-born actor didn’t really hit the map until he was nearly 40, yet he’s known as a dedicated and gifted thespian with the chops for an occasional mean streak.

Neeson forged his career on a reputation for playing historical figures including Oskar Schindler, Irish revolutionary Michael Collins and — a little down the road — sexologist Alfred Kinsey. At the turn of the century, he landed a huge role in the “Star Wars” prequels, in hopes of shaking up his images as Mr. Serious. 

With a couple big parts in 2005, Neeson began to reinvent himself as the badass we’ve come to know and love (and whom money-hungry studios can rely on). It’s the kind of image change publicists only fantasize about, but it goes to show how truly gifted actors cannot be confined to dramatic fare.

Neeson turns 60 in June, but his career as a (mostly vengeful) action hero seems to have only begun. With The Grey looking to add another successful action credential to his resume, we’ve compiled a list of his most badass roles. Considering his first gig as (1981‘s Excalibur) had him losing a joust and cowardly going back on his word just to save his skin, he’s come a long way.

10. Clash of the Titans (2010) – Zeus

When you ask your agent to land you roles in action films, you’re going to occasionally play in a stinker. On paper, getting to be Zeus, King of the Olympians, in a remake of a classic in Clash of the Titans sounds like a great idea for maintaining your profile as a veteran of cinema’s badasses, but if Neeson knew ahead of time how shiny his armor would be, I think he would’ve reconsidered. How does this make the Top 10 then, you ask? Three simple words:

“Release the Kraken!”

9. Kingdom of Heaven (2005) – Godfrey de Ibelin

Outside of “Gladiator,” Ridley Scott’s period pieces are not among his most beloved films, but “Kingdom of Heaven” has a lot of fans that would stand behind it. Although Godfrey’s fate diminishes Neeson’s badassery in this film, he owns a pretty sweet fight scene in the woods after imparting some battle wisdom to his son (Orlando Bloom). He also has a man killed with a war hammer to the skull.

8. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) – Qui-Gon Jinn

Say what you will about the film, but “Phantom Menace” first introduced Neeson to a lot of younger folks at the time (myself included) as he had previously stuck with roles in dramatic, violent R-rated fare. Despite succumbing to Darth Maul, Qui-Gon represents the ideal Jedi, as wise as he is battle-capable. Sure, he was wrong about Anakin Skywalker, but nobody’s perfect …

7. Gangs of New York (2002) – “Priest” Vallon

You might at this point be wondering if Neeson croaks in every film he’s ever been in, but it just goes to show how the man leaves an impression. He doesn’t last more than 20 minutes into Martin Scorsese’s depiction of violent 19th Century New York, but his presence (and the fact that he fights with sword in one hand and cross in the other) makes all the difference. More importantly, his death sets the film in motion as it provides motivation his son (Leonard DiCaprio) to avenge him.

6. The A-Team (2010) – Hannibal Smith

Neeson hasn’t taken many roles based on characters that have previously been portrayed, but he fearlessly creates his own version of the character invented by George Peppard in the ‘80s TV series. Despite the cigar-chomping, Neeson adds a measure of seriousness to both the film as a whole and the dynamic of this team of elite covert ops specialists. Whereas director Joe Carnahan’s film most demonstrates giddy action overkill, Neeson remains one of few anchors.

5. Rob Roy (1995) – Robert Roy MacGregor

When it comes to naming cinema’s best sword fighters, it starts with Errol Flynn, but in the next handful of names you’ll find Liam Neeson. if for no other reason than the sheer volume of times he’s had to pick up a blade — or lightsaber. His role as 18th Century Scottish clan leader Robert MacGregor marks one of his most heroic, and he caps it off with a nice sword duel to the death with actor Tim Roth.

4. Batman Begins (2005) – Henri Ducard

Neeson seems to enjoy the first installments of trilogies it would seem, and he also apparently relishes teaching future warriors everything they know. His pivotal role in “Batman Begins” set the standard for the gravitas that we have come to expect from Christopher Nolan’s films, this series in particular. Playing Henri Ducard, who later reveals himself as Ra’s al Ghul before promptly burning Wayne Manor to the ground, marked the beginning of Neeson’s true renaissance as an action star.

3. Darkman (1990) – Petyon Westlake/Darkman

Time for a little shout out to Sam Raimi, as his dark superhero revenge tale “Darkman” placed Neeson on the map. Taking on the mantle of a severely disfigured vigilante anti-hero set the tone for Neeson’s career as a badass, but also as someone dedicated to every part he plays. He’s known as a dedicated role researcher, and for Petyon Westlake he conducted interviews with people who work with recently disfigured people to help them re-enter society.

2. Schindler’s List (1993) – Oskar Schindler

Admittedly, nothing about Oskar Schindler falls under the textbook definition of “badass,” not that a textbook definition exists. Still, Neeson’s lone Oscar-nominated role is one for the ages in a film for the ages. It definitely takes a certain kind of badass to defy the Nazi’s and turn your factory into a refuge for Jews who would’ve otherwise died.

1. Taken (2008) – Bryan Mills

Plenty of prior indicators had evidenced Neeson could be a real badass on film, but Pierre Morel’s “Taken” played to those strengths better than any of his previous efforts and fully skyrocketed the then-55-year-old’s action career. He’s shown a gift for one-liners and for creating completely believable characters with unrivaled intelligence and physical skill. “Taken” also surprised at a usually dull January box office and began the trend of winter revenge films that’s still rolling four years later. You can’t ask for much more.

It’s time to put a lid on the movie year of 2011 and bury it deep, deep within the recesses of the earth. As I’ve done the last couple years, it’s time to reflect on some of the emerging trends within the world of Hollywood. Below you’ll find a series of bold statements about the year that was.

I think if I’d known how 2011 would turn out, I’d never have said such disparaging things about 2010. Last year we had some great films, films that would have stood out in any year (“Inception,” “Toy Story 3,” “The Social Network,” “The King’s Speech”), but the gap between those films and everything else was wide. This year, however, was the year of the good but not great, movies that would’ve nicely filled that gap in 2010. The Oscar contenders of this year are not powerhouse films and most enjoyed movies would average 3.5 or 4 stars on Movie Muse if everyone were voting.

But enough wallowing, as some good things were happening this year, as well as some noteworthy things.

2011 provided the best showcase for women in a long time

Two of the top 12 films in U.S. box-office receipts this year exclusively featured a female-dominated cast. I’m not going to do the research to prove it, but I’m pretty sure that’s never happened — ever. “Sex in the City” in 2008 has been the closest thing in recent memory, and that was based on a proven property, which neither “Bridesmaids” nor “The Help” are.

We’ve known women actors are capable for a long time; that’s not where the sexism in Hollywood lies. The problem has been that most female roles aren’t starring vehicles, especially in the mainstream. The roles written for women aren’t usually very powerful, and the few that are each year tend to earn Oscar nominations without hesitation. Yet these two films featured men in maybe three roles between them (that I can think of off the top of my head) and they performed the better than any movie this year that wasn’t a sequel or a blockbuster tentpole.

“Bridesmaids” had the bigger of the two hurdles to overcome, namely that old notion that women aren’t funny. The tides have been shifting awhile now in this regard thanks to the likes of Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig, and “Bridemaids” was the first film to really embody that, though in fairness Emma Stone’s “Easy A” was 2010′s best comedy far and away. Television has been more ahead of the curve lately with two shows by Whitney Cummings debuting this past fall, including the hit “2 Broke Girls,” and now it’s film’s turn. It will be interesting to see if “Bridemaids” becomes the anomaly or not.

“The Help” on the other hand is a tour de force. Featuring amazing performances from Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Jessica Chastain, Bryce Dallas Howard and Emma Stone (there she is again) among many others (Allison Janney, Sissy Spacek), it’s the best-acted film of the year. Call it a bonus that all the main roles are women, but it’s a combination of a best-selling novel a great adaptation and expert casting.

Best Actress in a Leading Role will probably be the deepest category at the 2012 Oscars. Davis should be there for “The Help,” but there’s also Meryl Streep as Maggie Thatcher in “The Iron Lady,” Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe, Glenn Close in “Albert Nobbs” and Tilda Swinton’s acclaimed turn in “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” Those actresses already have a lot of Oscar clout to begin with, so if they all scored nominations this year it would surprise no one. Keep in mind that they would also leave knock-out performances from Kirsten Dunst (“Melancholia”) and Charlize Theron (“Young Adult”) among others out of the mix.

Younger women with dramatic chops have also been cropping up more and more lately. Last year saw Jennifer Lawrence rise to fame and this year we had Elizabeth Olsen in “Martha Marcy May Marlene” as well as Felicity Jones in “Like Crazy.” Saoirse Ronan (“The Lovely Bones”) even headlined her own action film in the exquisite “Hanna,” one of 2011′s most underrated. Mia Wasikowska transcended Alice in “Jane Eyre” and Rooney Mara blew away folks as Lisbeth Salander in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

All I can say beyond that is “girl power.” Roles for women have not been better in recent memory, which could mean ever.

Audiences favored comedy/dramas in 2011

Considering 2011 featured movies all put into production after the economic downturn, it’s not surprising that few films were dark or especially challenging, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” aside (and feel free to ask Sony how that’s fairing for them box-office wise). I’ve even heard a fair share of boo-birds regarding “The Descendants” and I can only chalk that up to the subject matter. Even “50/50″ — a film about cancer — had a comedic edge.

R-rated comedies saw a lot of success this year, with “Bridesmaids” reigning supreme. “The Hangover Part II” did it’s job making obscene money and even “Horrible Bosses” did well enough that sequel talk has begun. “Bad Teacher” and “No Strings Attached” saw decent box-office returns and mostly positive reviews too. I would even argue the reviews and reception for all these films were more positive than any of the films deserved, but I was entertained by them nonetheless (except “No Strings” — wasn’t a fan).

Yet with some foul-mouthed comedies such as “The Sitter” and “30 Minutes or Less” underwhelming in all aspects, it’s not about the genre tag of comedy, but about providing levity in more dramatic storytelling. Case in point would be “The Help.” Had it been marketed as or word gotten out that it was an extremely harrowing film about race relations, it would’ve never done so well at the box office. Fortunately that didn’t happen because the film was quite humorous in spite of its subject matter.

We even have a family film making its case for the best of the year. Martin Scorsese’s “Hugo” could even end up with the most Oscar nominations of any film in the 2012 ceremony thanks to its stunning visuals. Hardly an ounce of pessimism exists in this historical fiction fairy tale. Another of 2011′s most highly regarded films is also a fairy tale taking place in Paris: Woody Allen’s “Midnight in Paris.” Top-form writing from the beloved filmmaker along with a whimsical plot made it one of the feel-good films of the year and Allen’s biggest box-office performer.

Touches of wit helped many other top films this year. “Moneyball,” starring Brad Pitt in what’s looking like an Oscar-nominated role, rose above possibilities of sports movie clichés to become a crowd favorite in theaters this past fall. To offer a comparison, let’s take a look at another star-powered fall movie that came just two weeks after “Moneyball”:  ”The Ides of March.” The film starred George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti among others, certainly more of an acting heavyweight than “Moneyball,” but it was also heavy in subject matter, a film that’s a total buzz-kill in regards to American idealism. “Moneyball” made about $35 million more (substantial in terms of dramas) thanks to a lighter tone. And despite a handful of Golden Globe nominations, no one is name-dropping “Ides” in the Oscar conversation.

Romantic comedies benefited too, with “Crazy, Stupid, Love” getting insane buzz as one of the best rom-coms in ages. Imagine my lack of surprise when I watched it and discovered it to be one of the more far-fetched and ridiculously optimistic movies of 2011. Is there always a place for these kinds of films? Yes. However, I don’t think some of these films get as excellent of reviews without somewhat of a demand for light-heartedness and feel-good fare at the movies.

The last two years I’ve talked about how animation has proven itself heads and tails above other genres. Oddly, we got lots of commercially driven animated films this year (e.g. “Cars 2,” “Kung Fu Panda 2,” “Puss in Boots”). Imagine if Pixar had dropped “Toy Story 3″ this year. It already made more than any film in 2010, so who can say how well it would’ve done in 2011. The market for heart was there, but more consumers than usual sniffed out the money-grubbing nature of these sequels and spin-offs. That made room for “The Muppets,” a cry for innocence and nostalgia that came at a time when moviegoers wanted it most.

When the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences announces the Best Picture nominees, count the number of feel-good movies, and you’ll be hard-pressed to disagree.

Independent cinema shined amidst the high number of average studio films.

Quick lesson for those still confounded by what makes a movie independent. It’s all about the financing. If you raise your own money, your film is independent, even if it gets picked up by a studio in order to be distributed en masse. Anyway, the late season Oscar-buzz films the studios championed this year disappointed.

Clint Eastwood let down Warner Bros. again with “J. Edgar,” and the studio chose to expand “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” in late January instead giving it prime positioning — an indictment on the quality to be sure. Sony will have some love for “Moneyball,” but its big holiday film was “Dragon Tattoo,” which regardless of Oscar intentions hasn’t exploded like they thought when they gave it a budget of $90 million. Fox continues its Oscar success with its FoxSearchlight division (“The Descendants” this year), but Cameron Crowe’s “We Bought A Zoo” got a mixed critical reception. Disney will have “The Help,” but “War Horse” hasn’t quite gotten the praise some expected, even if it does end up in the Oscar conversation somehow. Perhaps Paramount came closest with “Hugo” over Thanksgiving.

Anyway, when this happens, the independent films step into the spotlight. They’ve been on the rise anyway, as we’ve seen the aforementioned FoxSearchlight constantly getting one or more films in the Oscar race. This year you might hear more about films you’ve never heard about then ever before. Even if the Academy won’t recognize them, theses are films making people’s end of the year lists.

The one you will hear of in the Oscar race is “The Artist.” Considering it is French made, you could even call it a foreign film. Many folks believe it will take home Best Picture. “The Descendants” is another that you’ve likely already heard of.

But I’m mainly talking films such as Lynne Ramsay’s “We Need to Talk About Kevin,” Terrence Malick’s “The Tree of Life,” Steve McQueen’s “Shame,” Nicholas Winding Refn’s “Drive,” (OK, semi-indie), Lars Von Trier’s “Melancholia,” Jeff Nichols’ “Take Shelter,” and Sean Durkin’s “Martha Marcy May Marlene.” These films might not ever break into the full-on mainstream, but they’ll get noticed more than usual. (Also, keep in mind that they all deal with depressing subject matters.) In tandem with the rise of the Internet’s impact on the film world, these films are getting noticed more than ever before. At some point — though it’s a long way off — film fans won’t need the Academy to tell them what to go see anymore.

The future of 3D and IMAX technology became much clearer

Last year was the knee-jerk reaction to “Avatar.” In my Year in Review I talked about all the needless post-conversions and sloppy 3D, and that audiences were growing averse to the medium and studios had even begun to recognize it. 2011 was when it really showed in the box office results. By July, it was clear that only in the rarest of cases would a majority of ticket sales be for 3D showings. Whereas in the beginning of the summer you were hard-pressed to find 2D showings, by the holidays it was all squared up. December’s biggest hits, “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” and “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol,” were not even offered in 3D.

The latter, however, renewed the vitality of IMAX. The early opening of “M:I 4″ on 400 IMAX screens paid off immensely for Paramount. Considering “The Dark Knight Rises” prologue played before each screening, that film will be an IMAX must-see in 2012. The key, however, is that much of those films were shot with IMAX cameras. They’re a pain to work with, but expect studios to push for their biggest films each year to be shot partly in and then offered in IMAX.

Personally, I saw four films in 3D this year and one in IMAX. Of those five, one was on accident and one was thanks to not enough 2D showtimes. I would expect that number to be the same or less come next year. “Thor” and “Green Lantern” were the negative experiences. The action was blurry and not enough scenes were post-converted anyway. The 3D did nothing for the experience. I was happy, however, to spend the extra cash on “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” and “Hugo.” The action scenes were that much better in 3D in “Transformers” and Scorsese made such great use of the extra depth of field that word can’t describe. Not every moment of both films benefited, but the experience was a positive one. As for the IMAX, it was well worth it for one of if not the most entertaining action film of 2011 in “M:I 4.”

The 3D films of 2012 should be much better. Most of them had time to film in 3D because they were greenlit during the backlash of 2010, or just decided not to convert. But more significantly, 3D is getting in the hands of people who know how to use it. Martin Scorsese demonstrated in “Hugo” that 3D should be a part of films for a long time. That might be hard to stomach, but go see that film and understand why. If chosen for artistic reasons and done by truly talented individuals who are thinking about how to take advantage of it in every scene, it can be a remarkable tool. That’s why the 3D film I’ve put on my 2012 calendar already is sci-fi thriller “Prometheus” from director Ridley Scott, who has already said he never wants to make a film in 2D again.

It will be hard for the average consumer to be able to figure out which films are worth the 3D surcharge, but as long as the critics getting first crack at reviewing these films call attention to it appropriately and studios allow the filmmakers making these movies to choose for themselves, no one should feel ripped off. Over time, we should see studios only trying to sell their biggest and most visually astounding films in 3D. For starters, it’s believed the sequel to “Star Trek” might film in 3D (word is currently that it will be  converted, but let’s hope not). That’s a big-ticket film for 2013 with a respected director in J.J. Abrams — a smart use of the technology.

The big money comes from the foreign box office

You might not care about what happens overseas, but Hollywood does, and based on the miserable performance of the North American box office in 2011, you can be assured studios have already started to let foreign markets influence their decision-making as to what films to bring to the general public in the future.

If you look at the year’s seven highest-grossing films (all sequels), every film on that list made a higher percentage of its gross from overseas markets than its predecessor. In some instances the drops were small, such as (unsurprisingly) “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″ and “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1,” two movies with huge and devoted followings that you can be assured of some consistency film to film.

The numbers I’ve pulled represent the drop in gross percentage of North American dollars from the previous film to its sequel. Let’s start with one of the year’s biggest franchises. 2009′s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” made 48 percent of its $836.3-million worldwide gross (about $400 million total) from domestic pockets, yet “Dark of the Moon” made only 31 percent of its whopping $1.1 billion from Americans and Canadians. To make that clearer, stateside “Dark of the Moon” made $50 million less than “Revenge of the Fallen,” yet in the rest of the world, it made at least $300 million more. And “Moon” took place exclusively in America, whereas “Fallen” had scenes in Egypt and China. “Moon” now boasts the title of fourth biggest movie of all time behind “Avatar,” “Titanic,” and “Deathly Hallows Part 2.”

I don’t need to say much more, but I will, because I see it as a big deal. The eighth biggest film of all time is now “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.” The most recent film prior to the fourth was “At World’s End” in 2007, which made 32.1 percent of its gross (about $309 million) domestically, a pretty healthy if not ideal number. Can you guess what happened with “On Stranger Tides”? It did better overall, yet North Americans spent just $241 million on it, just 23 percent of its total gross. The rest of the world blew $800-plus million on seeing this film. A fifth “Pirates” movie would be a tough decision to make if you look at the domestic numbers, but a no-brainer if you look at the international ones.

For your edification, “The Hangover Part II” made 43.8 percent domestically, down from 59 percent for the original 2009 film, though the sequel did not make more total than the original. “Fast Five” made 33 percent domestically down from 42 percent for “Fast and Furious.” Pixar, however, saw the trend coming, making “Cars 2″ an internationally based film with characters and locales from all over the world. Their overseas percentage went from 47.2 percent for “Cars” to 65.8 percent for this summer’s sequel.

So either Americans and Canadians became more discerning of the sequels and commercially driven films Hollywood force-fed them this year, or they’re just getting poorer. You could make a good case for the latter, but keep in mind that “Deathly Hallows Part 2,” the biggest movie of the year, made substantially more than “Deathly Hallows Part 1″ in North America, close to $100 million, and they were released within a year of each other. The economy has made everyone here stingier, whereas overseas, the demand for these sequels looks a lot like American demand used to be between 2000 and 2009. So they don’t just have more money to spend, but they also want these films more than we do. Expect studios to greenlight sequels and films with huge budgets only if they have international appeal.

You’re probably so over 2011 right now. You probably have no interest in the Top 10 Films of 2011 anymore, but allow me to explain why it took until Jan. 3 to publish this list.

2011 left something to be desired at the movies — and that’s being nice. Each year tends to be full of at least a half dozen unanimously great films and I’m struggling to decide how to order the many 4.5/5-star films I saw. I only gave five films that rating, and one 5/5, and even of those films I’m not deeply raving about more than three of them.

It’s sad, because I most definitely said last year that I figured I would be hard-pressed to figure out my list this year based on the title I was looking forward to. I also mentioned how making this list stinks because there are always a few films I see in January that would be in the mix. So as you might imagine, I was kind of desperate. I held out as long as I could hoping to see films that I would want on my list. It was worthwhile, as two of the films here were added within the last couple weeks.

My Top 10 Films of the Year

10. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

I was completely underwhelmed by the Battle of Hogwarts, but “Part 2″ was a thrilling conclusion in all other ways, an apt exclamation point on a a franchise I couldn’t praise highly enough for its maturity and risk-taking among various other accomplishments. Everything came full circle and Daniel Radcliffe took center stage, proving just how far along he’s come in the last decade. Read my review.

9. Take Shelter

In a year of mostly underwhelming studio-produced Oscar films, a little gem like Jeff Nichols’ “Take Shelter” stands out. 2011 had its fair share of slow and plodding suspense thrillers, but few managed to keep me engrossed like this one. “Take Shelter” features a powerhouse performance from Michael Shannon as a man wrestling with apocalyptic visions and the realization that he may in fact be crazy. We haven’t seen a descent into madness this effective in a long time and Nichols’ use of suspense is downright Hitchcockian. Read my review.

8. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Usually it’s a film that looks really good in previews that ends up bad or disappointing; it’s almost never the other way around. Yet bad title and all, “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” demonstrated consummate execution of an origin story. The emotional punch packed into the story of Caesar the ape’s disillusionment with the human race not only caught audiences off guard, but also bolstered the otherwise ordinary action sequences with an emotional intensity. The special effects were also something to behold, as WETA has proven time and time again that motion capture is a powerful visual tool. Then there’s Andy Serkis, who shows working with mo-cap is not a paycheck, but a skill and an art form. Read my review.

7. Drive

Try to pigeonhole “Drive” into a genre — just try. Nicholas Winding Refn might not have gotten much of a welcome party from American audiences, but he proved his time will certainly come with this exceptional and unique mixture of crime drama, thriller and action. Like so many 2011 films, “Drive” moves slowly and builds suspense, but its unforgiving and brutal payoffs will leave you floored. Performances of tremendous magnitude come from both Ryan Gosling and Albert Brooks and the hip indie soundtrack gave it all an unusual flair. In the future, films like “Drive” will be viewed among the year’s best in the court of popular opinion as well. Read my review.

6. X-Men: First Class

The cream of this year’s superhero crop, “X-Men: First Class” also demonstrated how effective a well-told origin story can be. With James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender playing the characters we’ve come to know and love in Professor X and Magneto, Fox hit a home run. Their performances and the friendship dynamic takes this film somewhere special and the themes at play come across second to only the Christopher Nolan “Batman” films. Director Matthew Vaughn and co-writer Jane Goldman (“Kick-Ass”) prove they can weave gold when entrusted with a blockbuster. How 20th Century Fox ever managed to make the year’s best popcorn flicks (this and “Apes”) given their reputation for creative interference has me foot in mouth. Bravo. Read my review.

5. 13 Assassins

Rarely do I feel compelled to push something foreign or totally off the radar, but “13 Assassins” was the year’s best action film. If you have any interest in samurai films, Takashi Miike’s take on a timeless genre deserves your time. Even if you find Feudal Era Japanese politics boring, subtitles painful or keeping track of characters too much of a chore , it all pays off in the end with a 45-minute battle sequence pitting 13 men against an army. If you want to see how good “300″ could have been, here you go. The fact that “13 Assassins” is so clearly an action film yet never loses sight of its historical context and themes centered around a waining system of government had me thoroughly impressed. Read my review.

4. The Help

I am beyond thrilled to name “The Help” the best ensemble film of the year. The performances given by its leading ladies should not be understated for any reason. Some might find Tate Taylor’s take on the best-selling novel to be another feel-good race relations story, but I see it as anything but. Viola Davis leads a slew of convincing and shaking performances from Octavia Spencer, Jessica Chastain, Emma Stone and Bryce Dallas Howard. Even Sissy Spacek is a delight. Few films accomplished what “The Help” did in 2011: take a story that came off as pandering Oscar bait and actually convert it into something of undeniable substance. Its insistence on maintaining a lighter tone also helped it resonate in a year where audiences and critics tended to side with comedic fare. Read my review.

3. Hugo

I had high expectations for Martin Scorsese’s latest effort, even if it was a film intended for a family audience. I just never expected them to be met, let alone exceeded. I’ll be the first to admit that its surprise of being a love letter to cinema played into my biases, but its enjoyment is not limited to cinephiles by any means. “Hugo” boasts emotion, adventure, ceaseless optimism and dazzling visuals. A good old historical-fiction fairy tale was precisely what the doctor ordered for 2011, something magical without being kitschy. And considering the last year of a beating 3D has taken, “Hugo” also offers proof that in expert hands, an extra dimension can be a powerful storytelling tool. Read my review.

2. 50/50

Balancing drama and humor is always a lauded accomplishment in storytelling, especially in film; balancing cancer and raunchy humor is another feat unto itself. The amount of genital references undoubtedly kept “50/50″ from being named among the year’s best, but I refuse to let traditional views of criticism and awards acknowledgement stop me from holding a banner for a film equally as laugh-out-loud funny as it is cinematically responsible and expertly crafted. Hopefully Will Reiser will get the recognition he deserves for his script that handles cancer in such an honest way that Hollywood never thought possible. Still, all the actors — even Seth Rogen — deliver believable performances. “50/50″ has its cake and eats it too, with its poignancy going pound for pound with its entertainment value. Read my review.

1. The Descendants

Having completed our third calendar year as Americans in a poor economic state, it’s been no surprise (as I’ve alluded to) to see comedies take center stage as well as other films that aim to whisk us away from real problems. “The Descendants” does the exact opposite, centering around a family whose matriarch is dying in a coma but had previously been adulterous, which could explain why the general public hasn’t raved about it. But I’ll stand by Alexander Payne, who makes a deeply emotional and resonant splash having abandoned us since ”Sideways.” George Clooney gives one of his best performances ever in a story that’s harsh in the way it looks at its characters and ideas, but undeniably true. Somehow it manages to redeem all its characters’ awful flaws and show us how we can go on living despite them all. Read my review.

If you had to name the most famous fictional movie houses, you’d mostly come up with the haunted ones. Houses hardly end up as the main characters or the sole location for an entire film unless they’re haunted or something’s up. Even the best mansions and castles are the ones crawling with something not of this world.

But what about some of the ones slightly below the radar that could’ve used a spooky touch? Rather than your average haunted movie house feature, here’s a list of 10 movie residences that would’ve been better if they had been haunted.

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse - Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

A house where the furniture has eyes and the appliances talk. Out of context, we’re talking about some kind of scary house, right? Well — kind of. Pee-Wee’s Playhouse should be a fun and inviting place for a child, but I think if one were to stumble upon it accidentally, it would be sort of terrifying. Anyway, imagine those friendly inanimate objects had malicious intent. Now, add Paul Reubens to that image, the man arrested for indecent exposure in an adult theater (a.k.a Pee-Wee), inviting you into this house. That’s enough to make a grow (decent) man shudder.

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The Beast’s Castle - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Don’t get me wrong, I love the song “Be Our Guest” and Lumiere might be one of my favorite Disney characters, but Belle would have had a much tougher time falling in love with the Beast if the castle servants that had been turned into assorted objects were torturing her and playing games with her mind. If that’s too much, what if the Beast were a real Beast that went on a horrific tear through unsuspecting French villages murdering people women and children? I don’t think anyone’s slow-dancing in fancy clothes to the famous title ballad at the end of that story.
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The Hometree - Avatar

Okay, so I just picked this “residence” because it’s by far the most obscure “home” I could think of, but who’s to say that the Omaticaya tribe doesn’t have ghost stories? The Na’vi are one with their planet and all spirits, so why not dead ones? I’d like to see James Cameron’s vision for some supernatural 3D Pandora creatures. A dose of horror or at least suspense could have made “Avatar” a bit more entertaining for the somewhat large group of people that found the film overrated. At the same time, if the Hometree had been haunted, no one would’ve minded the humans blowing it up.

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Wayne Manor - Batman Begins

Bruce Wayne became Batman because he conquered his fear by embracing and embodying it. We got a pretty awesome superhero as a result, but imagine if Wayne Manor hadn’t had a bat infestation, but perhaps a … poltergeist infestation. Poltergeistman might not roll off the tongue as easily, but he would probably kick Batman’s ass. A horror/superhero mash-up doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea either: They could call it “Supernormal Activity.”

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Satis House - Great Expectations

I’ll credit the “South Park” “Pip” episode for this bit of inspiration, but Satis House represents all other Gothic manors (see Jane Austen and Bronte Sister novels) on this list. Most film adaptations of this Dickens novel paint Satis House as a creepy unkept place, appropriate considering it hasn’t seen the light of day in ages. With the wealthy old Miss Havisham holed up in that house with several beautiful little girls as her attendants, this story has horror written all over it. Pip could have been the recipient of a truly terrifying education.

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Frank-N-Furter’s Mansion - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Sure, a lot of weird stuff goes on in Frank-N-Furter’s mansion, the one full of time-warping crazies and transvestites, but the place isn’t haunted so much a supremely awkward and uncomfortable for non-eccentric/flamboyant types. In other words, a dash of the not campy kind of horror could make this cult classic film into something you’d actually want to see more than the one that one time you watched it because you knew you’d have to see it one time or another. At the very least the premise of the film screams “torture porn” along the lines of “Hostel: Rocky Horror Edition.”

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The Lake House - The Lake House

Romance films lend themselves quite perfectly to horror twists, if for no other reason than the mere fact that any twist would make a movie like “The Lake House” better. But a haunted house with time travel capabilities sounds delightful. Imagine Keanu Reeves writing letters to Sandra Bullock in the future (or is it vice-versa? Obviously I haven’t seen this movie) and having to warn her of an evil spirit residing in the house that will soon descend upon her. Better yet, what if the ghost were Keanu and he didn’t even know it yet? Leave a comment at the bottom of this post if you’re a studio exec looking to purchase this one. I’ll happily negotiate and reasonably so.

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The Baker House - Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

A family of 12 move into a new home and find out the previous family of 12 that lived there before all died after killing each other in a battle royale-style fight over who got to record what primetime shows on the DVR. The only thing nastier than sibling rivalry is bloody sibling rivalry. “Cheaper by the Dozen” wasn’t an awful family flick, but it wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen in the many seasons of “The Brady Bunch.” Some evil spirits causing family unrest, perhaps through causing living family members to blame other living family members for violent things they didn’t actually do would be quite tense and fun to watch. I’d call it “Reaper by the Dozen.”

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The Von Trapp Estate - The Sound of Music

Hum in your head the “Do-Re-Mi” song from “The Sound of Music” for a second. Okay, now remix that horror movie trailer style: young children singing it nice and slow with a wispy echo effect that fades into creepy laughter. Now you see what I’m talking about. The Von Trapp children were forced to live in blissful ignorance of the fact that their country had been overtaken by Nazis, which is a horror story all of its own, but if the young nun/governess Maria (Julie Andrews) had encountered these children and learned they might not be real or had another Von Trapp child locked up in the basement because he/she was tone-deaf, well, you have a horror masterpiece.

Hotel for Dogs – Hotel for Dogs

Horror films and animals tend not to go hand-in-hand unless it’s the dog with the sixth sense that barks when evil spirits are near. In the case of the kid flick “Hotel for Dogs,” if it were my film, I would gladly screw over audience discomfort with scary things and animals in order to make a movie people would actually watch. Two kids discover an abandoned hotel in this film and use it to house and feed stray dogs. An abandoned hotel? Never in the history of film has the “abandoned hotel” motif not involved someone dying or going insane, so this one ought to be crawling with ghosts. My thought would be the ghosts would possess the dogs, thus turning this into a ravenous creature flick with canines mauling unsuspecting visitors.

Robots are still the future, right? Or at least androids? Hopefully there’s still a high demand for artificial intelligence like all the great sci-fi authors predicted, otherwise who is going to do stuff for us in the future like fight our battles and take care of our children? Last weekend’s “Real Steel” envisioned a time when boxers get replaced by robots, probably for entertainment purposes only, but let’s say possibly thanks to the alarming spike in concussions and other serious injuries in professional sports over the last couple years.

When this time comes for real, we will need a point of reference, and by default that will be movie robots. Which ones would you pick to have in a fight? I’ve separated the very best options from the very worst.

THE 5 WORST

Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot – “Mystery Science Theater 3000″

Although primarily of television fame, there was a movie of “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” which means everyone’s most beloved trash-talking robots, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot (an inseparable duo) count as movie robots. I never watched the series, so when I tried out the movie, I found it boring and largely unfunny. So to me, Servo and Crow are all bark and no bite. If they were even remotely capable of defending themselves in a fight, they’d still get their asses kicked — but at least we’d get some amusing commentary.

NDR-114: Andrew – “Bicentennial Man”

In 1999, “Bicentennial Man” predicted we would all have domestic assistant automatons by 2005. I guess mine’s on back order. Although the realistic handling of the robot premise (imagine that, robots who only take orders, how perfectly simple) warrants points, a tin can voiced by Robin Williams with a Pinocchio complex who lacks for any semblance of street smarts would get trash compacted against just about any other robot.

Johnny 5 – “Short Circuit”

It’s sad when a robot built to be a sophisticated war machine escapes, yet ends up watching TV and making wise-cracks. You’d think a robot trying to input as much data as possible would become a devious machine, but other than spouting ‘80s-inspired catch phrases, Johnny 5 would be a total disappointment against another robot. He would likely go crazy and implode too.

Marvin the Paranoid Android – “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

A robot can be built to have the most sophisticated computer brain in the galaxy, but it doesn’t mean anything if its got the wrong attitude. Marvin uses his big old brain to store pessimistic probabilities. Although the voice-casting of Alan Rickman couldn’t have been more perfect, Marvin would enter a fight and just start moping about the point of it all, or lack thereof.

C-3PO – The “Star Wars” Saga

The epitome of the automaton robot in cinema (inspired by one of the very first movie robots ever in Fritz Lang’s Metropolis), there’s no denying the respect one should have for C-3PO, but our friend of “Human-Cyborg Relations” simply wouldn’t hold his own in a fight. I cant even type “C-3PO” and “fight” in the same sentence without imagining him all disassembled in “Empire Strikes Back.” He wouldn’t even make it entertaining — it would just be sad watching him get pummeled into the shape of a trombone.

THE 5 BEST

The Iron Giant – “The Iron Giant”

I admit I never saw this film as I boycotted basically every one of Warner Bros. animated films in the ‘90s just because they weren’t Disney. However, I do recognize the benefits of picking a gigantic metal robot from another planet in a fight. He might not be the most battle-skilled, but he’s large, hard to bring down and fiercely loyal. He’s also voiced by Vin Diesel, a human who you might pick in a human fight.

Major Kusanagi – “Ghost in the Shell”

Time to throw some love in the direction of you anime fans. Although I didn’t absolutely love this mind-bending sci-fi flick, the one thing that did immediately stand out to me is that Major Kusanagi, our cyborg cop protagonist, can kick serious ass. You don’t want to be a criminal on the run from this lady bot. She also has perfectly crafted prosthetic skin, which adds a weird sexual vibe that I’m not going to expound upon, but it also adds to her humanity. There’s no wonder why she’s a cosplay favorite either.

Gunslinger – “Westworld”

Few things are freakier than a robot who wants to kill you who won’t die or give up. When that robot sports the visage of Yul Brynner a la “The Magnificent Seven,” freaky turns to utterly terrifying. Any kind of scientific entity from the mind of Michael Crichton should be feared. Perhaps I’m banking a bit much on other robots peeing themselves when seeing their opponent is the scowling Gunslinger, but it can’t be that off base.

Optimus Prime – “Transformers” Series

If the name “Optimus Prime” didn’t jump into your mind when you saw the title of this article, then I’m glad you’re reading this, because you have a thing or two to learn about battle-ready movie robots. Optimus Prime oozes pure leadership skills. If he were 45 years old and a U.S. citizen we would elect him president. Not only is he a fierce fighting machine who can turn into an 18-wheeler, but he’s also come back from the dead. Despite lacking souls, surprisingly not too many movie robots have done that.

Terminator T-800 – “Terminator” Series

Not only would you get the Terminator, but you’d get Arnold. He’s a killing machine and he’s capable of showing both mercy and … not mercy. There’s the cold-killer T-800 from the original “Terminator” and then there’s the trustworthy lay-it-on-the-line T-800 from “T2: Judgment Day.” Both hold up really well, even when completely chopped in half. The best part? He can always come back from the future and do it all over again.

Baseball might have lost a ton of ground to football in popularity, but it’s still America’s pastime. And frankly, the tide can change quickly in football (only three NFL teams haven’t made the playoffs in the last 8 years), but in baseball, a chance to win the World Series doesn’t come around all that often. Just ask me, my father or my grandparents — three generations of Cubs fans.

Alleged curses aside, without a salary cap in Major League Baseball, the teams that generate the most revenue can stay on top, hence the New York Yankees, which makes it incredibly difficult for a team with a low payroll, such as the 2002 Oakland Athletics (as seen in this weekend’s new film “Moneyball,” read my review) to make a run at a pennant. The only way to beat the system is through scouting: acquiring young talent to bring up through the minor leagues. That method is what Billy Beane and Peter Brand, the main characters of “Moneyball” played by Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill, tried to undermine and nearly did with the 2002 A’s. 

A special team in baseball must defy greater odds than in nearly every sport. That’s why we get a lot of baseball movies and especially why few movies get made about a professional level sports team that aren’t baseball movies. The movies have given us a number of memorable baseball teams and here are some of the best.

10. The Kekambas - Hardball

Chicago’s Cabrini Green neighborhood’s very own Kekambas come in at 10 simply so I can make fun of whatever idiot thought it a good idea to cast Keanu Reeves as a kids’ baseball coach. The best way to describe “Hardball” is “’The Bad News Bears’ for black kids.” As we’ve known for years, the only way to reform kids that grow up in tough families in even tougher neighborhoods is organized sports and who would coach them but someone who has to with a gambling and drinking problem? Fortunately, “Hardball” has a bit of heart for all these cliches and what’s not to love about a Kekamba … ?

9. The California Angels – “Angels in the Outfield”

Whether the original 1951 film or the ‘90s remake at the height of the “ragtag kids in sports” movies era, it’s hard not to root for the Angels (or Pirates if we’re talking the original, but I’m not) so that a little kid’s family will get back together. Can you believe that kid was Joseph Gordon-Levitt? I can still hear him say to his dad “when will we be a family again?” And his dad’s unfair response, “I’d say when the Angels win the pennant.” So with some heavenly help and ‘90s CGI, Danny Glover’s untalented bunch look to do the impossible. You’d think with Neal McDonough, Tony Danza, Adrien Brody and Matthew McConaughey they’d be pretty good anyway, but I guess they were rookies back then … except Danza.

8. The Chicago Cubs – “Rookie of the Year”

Even if you don’t know anything about baseball, you should know that the best way to distract a pitcher and get him out of his rhythm is to chant, “pitcher’s got a big butt!” over and over again. Oh, Henry Rowengartner. I think I’m proud that this goofy comedy centers around the Cubs … Anyway, the Cubs here are a pretty likable bunch once they accept Henry. Daniel Stern is hilarious as Brickma and John Candy is great in the booth calling the plays. Credit to Gary Busey too.

7. The 1961 New York Yankees - 61*

Maybe not so much the team, but two players make the ’61 Yankees one of film’s most memorable teams. The story of two teammates, Mickey Mantle (Thomas Jane) and Roger Maris (Barry Pepper), slugging it out for Babe Ruth’s home run record and the surprising hostility they faced in attempting to do so, is one of the more underrated baseball films and should have warranted a theatrical release. Billy Crystal directed one of his few films ever and he hasn’t stepped behind the camera since.

6. The New York Knights – “The Natural” 

Not a huge focus on the team here so much as the player, Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford), but the New York Knights are one of those memorable fictionalized baseball teams and the excellent story based on the novel by Bernard Malamud helped them ride to prominence.

5. The 1919 Chicago “Black” Sox – “Field of Dreams”

The infamous Chicago “Black” Sox, who bet on the World Series they played in because the payout would be ridiculous if they lost, were also the subject of the movie “Eight Men Out” starring Charlie Sheen. In “Field of Dreams,” Shoeless Joe and Co. are there to make the film better/more awesome, reminding you of everything nostalgic and wonderful about America’s pastime.

4. The Cleveland Indians - ”Major League,” “Major League II”

Whether you’re the No. 1 fan of “Wild Thing,” the speedy Willie Mayes Hayes or the spiritual slugger Pedro Cerrano, no baseball movie has a better team cast of characters than “Major League.” The quirks are hysterical and if they weren’t enough, Bob Uecker’s commentary makes it all funnier.

3. The Bad News Bears – “The Bad News Bears” (1976)

The original rag-tag sports team is still the best. The filth that comes out of these kids’ mouths would have any parent outraged and the way their coach Morris Buttermaker (Walter Mathau) treats them would today result in a law suit, but no story better champions the values of youth sports when all is said and done.

2. The Durham Bulls – “Bull Durham”

Ah, the minor leagues, home of washouts, hopefuls and — lollygaggers. Crash Davis and “Nuke” Laloosh (Kevin Costner and Tim Robbins) pretty much hit opposite ends of the spectrum: one is a smart journeyman vet of the minors without the talent to breakthrough and the other all brawn and no brains. The perspective on baseball that “Bull Durham” showcases has few equals.

1. The Rockford Peaches – “A League of Their Own”

If we’ve learned anything from baseball movies, it’s that — you guessed it — there’s no crying in baseball. Most of these movies focus on characters, but “A League of Their Own” is a team story with several effective character-driven side plots. The Rockford Peaches are the only cinematic baseball that can claim to be completely unique. The dynamic of all the other teams has been replicated to some extent with varying degrees of success; the Peach stands alone

5. Charlie Day – “Horrible Bosses”

If you’re a fan of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” Charlie Day has been an established comedic presence for years, but most fans of “Sunny” are not the mainstream comedy demographic.

With his part in “Horrible Bosses,” where he was the unquestioned standout as an assistant to the nympho dentist played by Jennifer Aniston, he got to shine for adult audiences and expose his talents to the 40-years-and-up moviegoers who generally don’t watch “Sunny.” That should spell a great deal more offers to star in R-rated comedies among other options for a long time, especially with “Horrible Bosses” cracking $100 million in the U.S.

Next seen in: “Pacific Rim,” Guillermo del Toro’s monster action movie coming July 2013 (though likely something before then)

4. Melissa McCarthy – “Bridesmaids”

The other comedic standout this summer was Melissa McCarthy. Long known to fans of “Gilmore Girls” and those who sawless famous shows “Samantha Who?” and last fall’s “Mike & Molly,” McCarthy has had a lengthy career, but when you star in a mainstream and acclaimed R-rated comedy alongside Kristen Wiig, you’re going to get noticed.

You might not think about it or like to admit it, but women comics don’t have it easy. The ones who shine the brightest are the pretty ones (Anna Faris, Mila Kunis), usually by playing rom-com leads and rarely getting to comic stars. McCarthy suggests the fat-and-funny model for male comics can work for females and by all means let’s hope she’s just the beginning.

Next seen in: “This is Forty,” Judd Apatow’s next comedy out Summer 2012

3. Jessica Chastain – “The Tree of Life” and “The Help”

Prior to a couple years ago, no one, I mean no one, knew who Jessica Chastain was. In 2008 she played the title role in the indie “Jolene” and then had a part in the little-known crime thriller “Stolen” with Josh Lucas and Jon Hamm. But I guess when you’re cast with Brad Pitt and Sean Penn as one of only three main actors in a wildly anticipated Terrence Malick film (“The Tree of Life”), people notice you quick.

In August she played the delightful change-of-pace character Celia Foote in “The Help” and now it seems all her indie projects (which were filmed at various times) are set to unload this fall, so expect Chastain to land on the mainstream map with a thud. She stars in “The Debt” on this Wednesday, Ralph Fiennes’ debut “Coriolanus,” Al Pacino’s pet project “Wilde Salome,” the supernatural drama “Take Shelter” and the crime thriller “Texas Killing Fields.” She has main parts in all of them, in case you weren’t impressed. At this rate, she’s fast-tracking herself to an Oscar nomination at some point in her career.

Next seen in: ”The Debt” on Aug. 31 and “Texas Killing Fields” on Oct. 7

2. Michael Fassbender – “X-Men: First Class”

Hollywood has been high on Fassbender for some time now, but there’s no question “X-Men: First Class” was his chance to strut his stuff for a mainstream audience and now he’s a bona fide action star. There’s no question (in my mind) that if James Bond was up in there air right now, Michael Fassbender would win cinema’s most coveted role in a heartbeat. An Irishman playing Bond? Hey Superman’s a Brit, I think we would survive.

After being overlooked in “300,” Fassbender wandered for a few years until striking gold with Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds,” where his scene in the German bar as a British soldier sporting a German accent won a lot of warranted attention. He just manages to make everything more emotional, which should make his turn as an android character in Ridley Scott’s sci-fi thriller “Prometheus” next summer all the more interesting.

Next seen in: ”A Dangerous Method,” the Sigmund Freud biopic, on Nov. 23

1. Chris Hemsworth – “Thor”

There are a lot of really talented actors, but not many actors who just have an “it” factor as a hero. Chris Hemsworth proved he has “it” in “Thor.” Many doubted whether a newcomer could carry an obscure comic book adaptation to glory, but he did and with plenty of charisma to spare.

The result? “Snow White and the Huntsman,” next summer’s “Snow White” action/adventure, was rewritten so the Huntsman character would fit him. He’s attached by rumor to numerous action films including Ron Howard’s biopic on Formula 1 racer Niki Lauda that was scripted by Oscar-winner Peter Morgan. More noticeably, he will return as the God of Thunder in “The Avengers” next summer.

Next seen in: Joss Whedon’s delayed horror film “The Cabin in the Woods” on April 13, 2012.

Looking back at last year’s blockbuster season, other than the great “Inception Exception,” Summer 2010 stunk. This summer was packed to the gills with options to say the least, and despite maybe not having any excellent films like “Inception” or “Toy Story 3,” top to bottom, 2011 was 11 times better. Only August disappointed, but a couple big surprises at the beginning of the month helped make up for it.

Most of the superhero films this summer satisfied, which I was very unsure about. The comedies, however, were the biggest surprise. Although few were great comedies that will be remembered always, many were entertaining. Check out my superlatives below and let me know where you agree or disagree!

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Best Actor

1. Owen Wilson – “Midnight in Paris”

2. Michael Fassbender – “X-Men: First Class”
3. Charlie Day – “Horrible Bosses”

Other than some charismatic leading performances by Marvel heroes in Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans and our runner up Michael Fassbender, there weren’t a lot of excellent summer performances from men, which leaves Owen Wilson to take the cake for his Woody Allen iteration in “Midnight in Paris.” With all the polarized opinion on “Tree of Life,” I did not get to see that film and hence have no thoughts on Brad Pitt or Sean Penn’s performances. Wilson, on the other hand, really works his natural talents. No matter how limited you might think they are, the ones he has shine through as disenchanted screenwriter.

Charlie Day provided the best performance in a comedy this year. The “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” star will find himself in a great deal more comedies geared at wide audiences in the future.

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Best Actress

1. Viola Davis – “The Help”

2. Emma Stone – “The Help”
3. Hayley Atwell – “Captain America: The First Avenger”

I should probably give all three spots to the female cast of “The Help.” Rarely does a film ever have such a female-dominated cast let alone an amazing one. Davis marks the finest performance if one must choose; she brings incredible character depth into every scene in that film. Emma Stone gets a shout-out here too showing her range goes well beyond modern comedy. In the last year she’s proven herself the best actress in her age group bar-none.

Atwell makes my top three because she gave the most sophisticated portrayal of a leading actress in a blockbuster all summer and one of the best in awhile. Emily Blunt did so similarly with “The Adjustment Bureau” back in March, but no other examples come to mind recently. Peggy Carter was more than a love interest and that deserves props.

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Biggest Disappointment

1. Cowboys & Aliens

2. Green Lantern
3. Conan the Barbarian

Although my higher expectations were for “Green Lantern,” I could never have fathomed that Jon Favreau would churn out such emotionless crud in “Cowboys & Aliens.” Considering the talent in front of and behind the camera (and the overall box-office numbers), the sci-fi Western easily ranks as Summer 2011′s biggest dud.

Although many will go to their graves talking about how awful “Green Lantern” was, for me it was simply just uninspired and subpar in comparison to almost every superhero film that’s come out since “Iron Man.” Considering the budget too, “Green Lantern” could be described in no better way than disappointing.

Few people had any expectations for “Conan the Barbarian,” but $10 million in its opening weekend? Lionsgate is in tears right now. “Conan” easily ranks as the summer’s biggest financial flop.

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Best Drama/Comedy

1. The Help

2. Midnight in Paris
3. Crazy, Stupid, Love

Woody Allen’s film will likely sneak into a couple Oscar categories this year; after all, it’s his biggest film ever financially and one of his most celebrated in forever. But “The Help” has really been the best film of the year so far in terms of Oscar consideration. Stop the comparisons to “The Blind Side” because Tate Taylor’s take on the best-selling novel is much better.

“Midnight in Paris” and “Crazy, Stupid, Love” are no chumps either: this category happened to have some real winners this summer whereas in the past indie films that few people see usually find their way to this list.

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Best Superhero Film

1. X-Men: First Class

2. Captain America: The First Avenger
3. Thor

With four films, this deserved its own category and “First Class” stands tall, albeit not a ton taller than “Captain America.” Both films had tremendous origin stories told with first-rate precision. The relationship between Erik and Charles in “First Class,” however, has no equal, especially with Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy playing it out. That story carried more power than any other relationship at the movies this summer. “Thor” also benefited from some unusually strong performances and a certified hero for a long time to come in Chris Hemsworth.

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Best (Non-Superhero) Action Film

1. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
3. Super 8

“Apes” would have won the “Biggest Surprise” category in a landslide. I never gave this film a shot and I was blown away by the power of the storytelling among other things (namely the motion-capture technology). In a summer loaded with towering blockbusters, being at the top of this list is quite the feat.

“Harry” fans will be skeptical of my choice, but the bar was so high for the final installment that the surprise factor makes “Apes” the more memorable film. Also, “Deathly Hallows Part 2″ doesn’t stand out as an action film. Then again, neither does “Apes,” but for different reasons.

“Super 8″ leads the rest of the “solid summer movies” pack thanks to some terrific young actors and genuine suspense. With films such as the most recent “Transformers” and “Pirates” merely sufficing for decent entertainment despite a boatload of flaws, “Super 8″ easily floats to the top.

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Best Comedy

1. Bridesmaids

2. Horrible Bosses
3. Friends with Benefits

Every time I remind myself I have not seen “Bridesmaids,” I smack myself mentally. The R-rated female-led comedy has had the longest run of any summer film (partly because it came out in May, but whatever) and its approval rating is off the charts. I’ve seen some good comedies this summer — “Horrible Bosses” and “Friends with Benefits” were surprisingly satisfying — but the way people have talked about “Bridesmaids” I have to put it on top despite my lack of first-hand knowledge.

Many a movie character has been made in the mold of the small-time crook. Ask the Coen brothers, for example; they’ve made a career on films about ordinary people trying to do brazen (and usually illegal) things. As morally outstanding movie-goers (perhaps I should speak just for myself), we identify with these characters because we ourselves would likely have trouble keeping our cool in a similar situation. The consequences of these actions usually make for fascinating character studies and moral quandaries. If not, well, it’s almost always hilarious.

“30 Minutes or Less,” which comes out Friday, tells a story of how two lazy criminals played by Danny McBride and Nick Swardson strap a bomb to a pizza delivery guy (Jesse Eisenberg) and force him to rob a bank. With that in mind, I’ve found 10 of the dumbest criminals to ever grace the silver screen. Thanks to Moviefone and Rotten Tomatoes for some help.

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10. Dick and Jane – Fun with Dick and Jane

When they lose their jobs and can no longer afford to live their ideal upper-middle-class lifestyle, Dick (Jim Carrey) and Jane (Téa Leoni) turn to robbery as their primary source of income. Needless to say, they don’t make the most convincing of crooks as evidenced in this scene where Dick intimidates a tied-up Jeff Garlin while having fun with his voice-changer mask.

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9. Sonny and Sal – Dog Day Afternoon

The most “serious” film on the list would be this suspenseful drama from the great Sidney Lumet. Sonny (Pacino) convinces his buddy Sal (Cazale) to help him rob a bank so that he can pay for his lover’s sex change. Unfortunately for these small-timers, most of the cash has been picked up for the day. Determined to make something of nothing, Sonny begins to negotiate with the police for a plane out of the country and safe passage. At one point, Sonny asks Sal where he’d like to go and his answer is amusing. (Watch Clip Here)

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8. Peter, Samir and Michael Bolton – Office Space

The best model for white-collar crime would obviously be Richard Pryor and Robert Vaughn’s evil plan in “Superman III.” No? Well that’s what these three cubicle workers determine would be the best way to get back at their awful employer: taking fraction of a penny at a time. Not an awful idea, until within a short time they have $300,000. The three freak out and Michael Bolton (David Herman) imagines the consequences in this clip.

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7. Sol and Vinny – Snatch

Here’s a case in which two experienced criminals with big guns should know better. They attempt to rob a bookie and the woman at the front desk informs them that “all bets are off,” so they’ve literally nothing but a bag of pennies (or the copper British equivalent). To top it off, they manage to get in a bit of a physical predicament before their buddy Tyrone rescues them.

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6. Jerry, Carl and Gaear – Fargo

I could’ve chosen any number of dumb criminals from a Coen brothers film, but Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) might take the cake as a financially struggling man who decides to hire thugs to kidnap his wife so that her wealthy father will cough up some dough. Things go wrong right off the bat as thugs Carl (Steve Buscemi) and Gaear (Peter Stormare) aren’t the sharpest of criminals and things ultimately spin out of control and into a bloody, bloody mess. (Watch Clip Here)

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5. Harry and Marv – Home Alone

The classic ’90s dumb criminals are Harry and Marv (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern). They definitely define dumb crooks for anyone who grew up in that decade (including myself). They’re slapstick dumb, but check out this clip below for a reminder of the sheer joy of these antics as young Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) must defend his home from robbers when his parents accidentally leave him home over Christmas.

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4. Dignan, Anthony and the Team – Bottle Rocket

Wes Anderons’ first major film foray features an entire ensemble of inept criminals. Anthony (Luke Wilson) and Dignan (Owen Wilson) are amateur criminals at best who try to act and talk like serious professionals. They assemble a six-man team in order to crack a safe. Not only does their safe-cracker, an old Indian man named Kumar, seem to lose his touch on the job, but the other men have ineptitudes of their own. You can watch the entire amusing scene below.

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3. Linda and Chad – Burn After Reading

If you’re going to turn criminal, make sure you have a crime worth committing. Linda (Frances McDormand) and Chad (Brad Pitt) are two gym employees that think they’ve found some top-secret documents belonging to an Osborne Cox (John Malkovich). They decide they’ll sell him back his information for a ton of money, in part so that Linda can get liposuction. Their means of extortion are far from intelligent and it lands them in more trouble than they ever imagined.

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2. Mark Whitacre – The Informant!

Matt Damon’s best non-action performance comes as Mark Whitacre, a hard-working employee for a corn cultures development company. He’s good at that job, but the FBI manages to enlist him in helping expose his company’s price-fixing schemes. Problem is he’s a bit awe-stricken by the whole corporate espionage thing and he has his own ideas about what he can and can’t do that causes him problems in both his real job and job as an informant. One of the best (and only) examples of a completely oblivious white-collar criminal.

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1. Otto – A Fish Called Wanda

Kevin Kline takes the cake on this list for his Oscar-winning performance as Otto, a crazy, insensitive and ignorant prick who’s part of a team of thieves trying to steal some precious diamonds. Otto and his girlfriend (Jamie Lee Curtis) plan to double-cross the others, but things go wrong quickly and Otto’s too absent-minded to realize other manipulations going on behind his back. One of the most spot-on quirky performances ever, Kline is a pure joy to watch. (Watch Clip Here)

I continue celebrating Movie Muse’s second birthday by listing the 25 most beautiful brown-haired ladies on the big (and little) screen. All this stems from my unashamed love of a myriad of brunette actresses and one of my first ever posts:  “Top 10 Brunette Beauties.” If you missed No. 25-13 you should click here before moving on to the big time below.

These 12 ladies take beauty to another level and their talent follows suit. Okay, some have talent/beauty ratio that’s not quite equal on both sides, but you don’t see “talent” anywhere in the title of this post, do you? Truthfully, however, many of these women have Oscars. Anyway, enjoy the girls, but know that you didn’t enjoy reading about them as much as I enjoyed writing about them — and selecting images.

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12. Marion Cotillard

Everyone gets their big break, but Cotillard’s big break came in the form of an Oscar statuette. A completely under-the-radar French actress to that point, she exploded onto the scene with grace, beauty and quite the set of pipes. She was the best thing about the musical “Nine” and added the emotional balance to the intellect-heavy “Inception.” She shares the statuette honor with a few of the women higher on this list, but she might have the most distinctive look. It starts with the eyes.

• Best Performance: Edith Piaf in “La Vie En Rose”
• Next Seen In: ”Contagion” in theaters Sept. 9

Movie Muse turned two years old this week! Last year I shared my thoughts on a year of movie blogging, but this year I’m going to have a bit more fun. My first order of business when the site debuted was to put together a few of the ever-popular “Top 10″ lists on things I felt rather certain of. One was “Top 10 Superhero Movies” and the other … “Top 10 Brunette Beauties.”

I’ve never been shy about my actress crushes. Take that as you will … You might have seen some articles here and there applauding the careers of some of these ladies on the site. Now that two years have gone by and I’ve re-read that post, there are some serious injustices that I need to address. As I went back to realize how many gorgeous women I missed, this list mutated rather quickly into a top 25.

You might be wondering when I’m going to give the blondes some love. Patience … to say a list isn’t in the works would be a downright lie. Also, to say a list of the most attractive guys in Hollywood isn’t somewhere in my brain would be a lie. All my shallow top 10 or 25 lists in due time, friends.

To make things tolerable and have you gripping the edge of your computer chair armrests or couch cushions, I’ve broken this in half (though actress No. 13 remains in one physical piece). To browse “Part 2,” scroll to the bottom for the link.

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25. Cobie Smulders

The “How I Met Your Mother” actress gets us out of the gate, much like she instantly helped usher that CBS sitcom to success. As the girl from across the bar in the pilot that draws in the main character/narrator, Ted (Josh Radnor), so much was riding on her ability to be the girl next door and she nailed it. Although my crush on Smulders has waned a bit over the seasons of the show, she’s become a true comedienne, capable of acting tomboy without losing any sexiness. She’s a funnier Jennifer Connelly type.

• Best Performance: Robin Scherbatsky on “How I Met Your Mother”
• Next Seen In: “The Avengers” as S.H.I.E.L.D agent Maria Hill

What’s with all the dang penguins?

We’ve known that for decades that Hollywood has a habit of supplying vocal chords or curiously anthropomorphic abilities to all living creatures in the animal kingdom. From animated features to “Dr. Doolittle,” we’ve consistently fantasized about what would happen if our furry, scaly or feathered friends could talk, sing or interact with us in amusing ways. In particular, it seems in the last 10 years that we’ve been getting a heavier dose of our neighbors to the deep (deep) South.

Whereas most times a bevy of different critters populate a single movie to represent one particular climate or geographical region, the rare single-species spotlight has belonged to penguins. The Oscar-winning film “Happy Feet,” for example: entirely about penguins. Even the mischievous penguins of DreamWorks’ “Madagascar” have received their own straight-to-DVD specials and short films … not that anyone’s paying attention.

Oh, and penguins collectively haven’t only won one Oscar, but two. The 2005 documentary “March of the Penguins” showed how we could watch over an hour of penguins being penguins — not even talking or dancing — and call it worthy of film’s most prestigious prize. If that weren’t enough, the penguins of that film also marched to the golden voice of Morgan Freeman, the most coveted narrator on the entire planet and what will likely be all time.

How does a flightless bird manage all that? I must admit that even I’m guilty of unadulterated penguin love. I could stare at the penguins crammed into that glass box at the Lincoln Park Zoo for hours. I was there last month, in fact, and watched one of the penguins deliver a speech to the other penguins from what looked like the penguin equivalent of Pride Rock — I swear.

With all that in mind, Jim Carrey’s new family comedy “Mr. Popper’s Penguins,” based on the popular book written in 1938 (they even withstand the test of time), clearly marks another point on the lengthy timeline of penguin cinema history. In an effort to explain the logic behind this rich tradition, I’ve assembled 10 reasons why penguins have found so much love in Hollywood and why they’re so darn cute popular.

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10. They stand and walk using two legs

It sounds simple, but not many of our earth’s inhabitants rock two legs and stand upright. Even our evolutionary predecessors (I suppose I should say if you believe in that kind of thing) in the ape genus use their knuckles to get around. This structural similarity allows us to project more human characteristics onto penguins and we subconsciously identify with them more as a result. Sadly, while they can walk similar to us, we cannot toboggan on our bellies like the world is a giant slip ‘n slide.

9. They can’t fly

Pity. Our human capacity to feel bad for things such as animals has led to both PETA and our intrinsic love of penguins. To be classified as a bird yet not possess the ability to fly is like being classified a movie-lover when you were born without vision. Cruel and unusual. The fact that penguins only have a few inches on the dodo bird — which need I remind you is extinct — yet would get smoked in a race with an ostrich is enough to move any audience to tears, story and plot aside.

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8. The males watch the eggs and babies

Social and behavioral scientists have always found proof negating societal norms by studying penguins. They actually provided one of biggest talking points for the fact that homosexuality is not a “chosen” lifestyle when two male penguins were observed “mating” or something. Anyway, back to the egg thing. What woman wouldn’t love the chance to say to her husband, “well penguin fathers watch their eggs, why don’t you get up and take care of the baby for once!” As we saw in “Happy Feet,” the dads chill out with the baby egg lodged between its feet and groin. And while that does leave the men a chance to complain about their mates together, it’s not exactly the most manly of images; that silliness makes for great Hollywood fodder.

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7. They waddle

God blessed God’s creatures with many gifts, but reserved especially for the penguin was the gift of waddling. Given long toes and stumpy legs, the penguin uses this gift with grace — and much to the amusement of all other creatures in the animal kingdom. If that weren’t enough, just the word “waddle” delights the senses. The words “walk,” “crawl,” “fly” and “swim” have nothing on “waddle,” even combined.

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6. They always looked dressed up

Ever heard of an event where the dress code was “penguin?” That’s because penguins always look sharp. Just look at Disney’s “Mary Poppins,” for example. Dick Van Dyke stuck a bow tie on his penguin friends and suddenly they were the classiest gents in the room — or animated carousel world place. Something has be said for classiness and the penguin has it, so long as it doesn’t have a fish dangling from its beak.

5. There are so many different kinds

From kings and emperors to chinstrap, macaroni and rockhopper penguins, many different genuses exist within the penguin family, which means many opportunities for a cast of goofy characters. The crested penguins, for example, like Cody from “Surf’s Up,” give off their own kind of goofy vibe, whereas emperors could be the responsible ones. Variations also help distinguish characters when a story focuses entirely on one specific kind of animal. Wikipedia cites 23 types of penguins. Plenty to choose from there.

4. They live in Antarctica

Only the penguin has the figurative balls to live on the South Pole. With the exception of a furred seal, a couple cold-water fish and some other insignificant birds, there’s just a few seasonally populated research stations down there where the occasional lost husky or shape-shifting alien turns up. Even Santa Clause chose the other Pole, which is saying something. Fearlessness aside, all animation studios looking for a new climate to digitally recreate in hopes of wowing the Academy every winter have had to at one point consider the merits of a frozen tundra, and by default their subjects would be penguins. Welcome to the land of the ice and snow, Led Zeppelin — don’t forget your parka.

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3. They’re tubby

Any stand-up comedian or kung-fu-fighting panda will tell you fat is funny. Penguins also aren’t fat so much as stocky and oddly shaped, and this fatness ambiguity only adds to their appeal. When you consider #8 on the list in relation to this point as well, you double the fun. If only all things that were fat waddled. Being a top-heavy animal with short legs was either a cruel joke from Mother Nature or pure genius. I’d argue a combination of both.

2. They’re called penguins

Where did the “w” sound come from anyway? That insanely hard first syllable in tandem with the “gw” gets me every time. It also practically built Adam Sandler’s career by permitting the comedian to use it in the film “Billy Madison.” (My apologies for the creepy image — couldn’t resist. ) The word is so treasured, in fact, that a dispute exists over its etymological origin. The French word pingouin refers to the “awk,” a bird with similar white and black markings, (merci, Wikipedia), but the English “penguin” seems unrelated. Most major dictionaries refer to the Welsh roots pen (head) and gwyn (white). There’s also the Latin pinguis, which means “fat.”

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1. They’re monogamous

Hardcore animal fans or avid Zoobooks readers have probably scrutinized Disney, DreamWorks and other animated studios for portraying animals as being in love with each other to a happily ever after extent. Truth is, animals aren’t generally keen on waking up next to the same exact member of their species every day for the rest of their lives. Life, they realize, is too short. But not so with the penguin. The penguin, God bless it, affirms our cultural value that one should mate for life. By making a movie about penguins, studios can portray families with biologically lying to children. After all, animated movies have  a responsibility to reinforce our societal beliefs and constructs to our children so that they don’t have to make up their own minds. Still, nothing warms the ice under one’s feet more than the idea that love exists as a force in nature, not exclusively in the minds of human beings.

Death by explosion is a terrific (albeit PG-13) way to kill off a significant character in any action movie or thriller. A loud boom with pillars of fire and usually the right touch of slow motion in post-production makes a climactic death scene a fitting one and serves as a very visceral catharsis in any movie experience. In other words, it works well every time you watch it.

In Friday’s “Source Code” from director Duncan Jones (“Moon”), Jake Gyllenhaal enters the body of a man eight minutes before he dies during a terrorist bombing aboard a commuter train. His goal is to uncover clues about who might have blown it up. At the end of the eight minutes, the train explodes, the guy dies and Gyllenhaal’s Colter Stevens wakes up in his original body before getting ready to dive back in again.

This concept had me wondering: what are some of the best deaths by explosion in movie history? The folks at the moviedeaths.com helped jog my memory (though not every moment I’ve chosen is from their list) and it really turns out that some of the best deaths are indeed explosion-based. Some of the explosions here are that which killed off individuals and some obliterated collective groups of extras/stuntmen we assume dead. Almost all of them, however, are part of the big finish, which is interesting to note, yet makes a lot of sense. Interestingly yet fittingly, there are no Michael Bay films on this list.

Oh yeah, and SPOILERS ABOUND. Seriously, like land mines.

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10. Stealth – “The Hangar Escape”

I know what you’re thinking. How does “Stealth” make an list of top ten anything except “movies about military fighter drones”? Well, you (like me) obviously haven’t seen it then, or you’d know. Why don’t you check out the clip on YouTube and see for yourself. Rob Cohen (“xXx” and “The Fast and the Furious”) captures this blaze in all its glory — not much CGI work here if any. In the scene, Josh Lucas uses the drone to blast down a hangar door and past some baddies who think they have him pinned. It might be one of the more visually impressive moments on this list and loses points only for not being part of the climax or killing a significant character.

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9. The Rocketeer – “A Hollywood Ending”

Many people with their eye on “Captain America: The First Avenger” might have forgotten (or not been alive long enough to remember) that director Joe Johnston is not stranger to World War II period crime-fighter films. I, for one, had “Rocketeer” pajamas. Granted I was four or five at the time and would’ve worn anything, but “The Rocketeer” was memorable if not polarizing as a film.

One of the best comical and “fitting” deaths comes at the very end aboard revered Hollywood actor Neville Sinclair’s (Timothy Dalton) zeppelin after we’ve learned he’s a Nazi spy. After Sinclair and The Rocketeer exchange some surprisingly accurate punches, Sinclair steals the prized jet pack and bids our heroes (Jennifer Connelly was there too) good-bye, except he doesn’t know that the pack has been leaking fuel the whole time. A few moments into the air, in a terribly executed green screen blaze he falls into the “Hollywoodland” sign, knocking out the “LAND” part and sending it up in flames. This, of course, was the historically accurate part of the film.

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8. Die Hard 2: Die Harder – “Trail of Jet Fuel”

A sad fact is that more often than not, explosions in movies happen for added effect and blatantly spit upon the laws of science. However, the cooler that explosion is, the less anyone could care about physics. This terrific explosion from “Die Hard 2″ is one such logic-defying event that redeems itself on sheer creativity. I also really wanted to include a “Die Hard” death on this list.

At the end, the terrorists are on their way to escaping via plane, but a battered John McClane won’t go away. Two guys go out to get him and on the plane’s wing (while it’s moving at a high land speed, mind you) to engage him in combat. He sends one through the turbine and while the other is busy using martial arts, he pops open the fuel dump and the plane begins spewing fuel. After he falls off, the terrorist begin their ascent, except McClane has a lighter. Can you guess what line of dialogue comes next? The fire travels a perfect line up to the plane and blows it up midair. Revisit the whole thing here.

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7. The Running Man – “Giving Them What They Want”

“Die Hard 2″ co-writer Steven E. de Souza, who was a hot name in the late ’80s early ’90s, previously adapted Stephen King’s story into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “The Running Man.” He must’ve had a thing for explosions. In a dystopian society, the wrongly imprisoned Ben Richards ends up on the famous death-row style game show “The Running Man” where he must defeat various gladiators.

After Richards beats the system, he confronts the show’s host and creator, Damon Killian (longtime “Family Feud” host Richard Dawson). Killian tries to explain that it’s just show business and he was simply giving the the people what they wanted to see. Arnie responds, “Well, I may not have been in show business for as long as you have, but I’m a quick learner, and right now I’m going to give the audience what I think they want.” Revenge makes for a nice added punch to an explosion death; Richards straps Killian into the sled used to send prisoners into the combat area and sends him on his way. The sled comes off the track at the end and skids into the air and through a picture of Killian on a billboard promoting Cadre Cola. No explosives appear to be anywhere near the area, but the whole thing comes down in flames as millions watch on TV. “Now that hit the spot,” Arnie says, mocking the slogan for Cadre Cola. Beautiful ’80s writing.

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6. The Thing – “%@#$ you too!”

John Carpenter’s “The Thing” remake, which has a prequel coming out in October, stands as one of my favorite scary creature movies outside of “Alien.” The make up and animatronics combine to make the effects one-of-a-kind as we see in full glory right before Kurt Russell blows the Thing to smithereens.

As the thing shifts into parts of all the creatures/people it has devoured throughout the film, Russell throws a stick of dynamite at it and in a fit of rage and fear, thinks of nothing to say but the poetic “fuck you too!” Carpenter peels back and shows the entire Antarctic compound blown sky-high. This “we finally killed the damn thing” sub-category of the explosion death is only bested by one other film on this list.

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5. Groundhog Day – “Phil Steals the Groundhog”

One of the funniest and most morbid parts of the classic comedy “Groundhog Day” is when weatherman Phil Connors, forced to relive the same awful day over and over again, goes on a crazy spree and ends up killing himself on multiple occasions. The first of those attempts is the most elaborate. Seeing an opportunity, Phil steals the pickup with the beloved groundhog in it and drives away. Following a chase scene that shows Phil talking to the groundhog and letting the rodent drive the truck, a cornered Phil decides to make a grand exit and drives the vehicle off a cliff. When it lands, Chris Elliot proclaims that Phil might be okay, that is until the truck explodes. One of the funniest exploding deaths — at least when you consider the whole lead up and placement in the context of the film — ever.

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4. Predator – “Surprise Detonator”

Perhaps cinema’s greatest climactic mono-a-mono fight sequence is between (once again) our dear Arnold Schwarzenegger and the mighty Predator. At the end, Arnold is trapped and begs the Predator to kill him, but the beast prefers to play with his prey. Soon, he finds himself placed perfectly under a trap that Arnold sets off that squashes the Predator with a tree trunk. But it’s not over yet; the Predator is merely immobilized and bleeding slowly. Arnold picks up a rock to bash over the Predator’s head, but he has a change of heart. He asks “what the hell are you?” and after a nice tender moment, the Predator hits several buttons on a device on his wrist. It takes Arnold a second to realize that this is a detonation device. The Predator laughs the creepiest semi-human laugh in all of film as Arnold runs away to dodge a tremendous electro-magnetic explosion.

Rarely do the creatures get the last laugh, especially in a film opposite the king of last-laugh one-liners in action films, but that’s what makes the Predator’s “honorable” death so infamous.

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3. Leon: The Professional – “This is from Mathilda”

Like “Predator,” this movie features a very big (yet way more emotional) self-sacrifice. Leon’s death scene would probably make most “best death scene” lists of any variety. In Luc Besson’s “Leon” or “The Professional,” Jean Reno plays an assassin who takes a young girl named Mathilda (Natalie Portman) under his wing after her family is brutally murdered by Stansfield (Gary Oldman).

In the climactic scene, Stansfield sends an entire ops team up to find and eliminate Mathilda and Leon, but both concoct excellent escape plans. Leon escapes dressed as an injured one of Stansfield’s guys, but as he’s about to exit the building, Stansfield finds him and pops him in the back between the shoulder blades. With his last ounce of life, Leon hands something to Stansfield and says “this is from Mathilda.” No, it’s not a gift, but rather the pin to one of a half-dozen grenades Leon has strapped to his chest. “Shit,” Stansfield says before the front of the building explodes. This is one of several times that Oldman dies a most deserving death given all the jerks and terrible villains he’s played.  Relive the beautifully done sequence here.

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2. Star Wars Ep. IV: A New Hope – “Death Star Explosion”

Now here’s an explosion that never gets old. This example defines the climactic explosion to a T, especially when you consider the whole objective of the Rebel fleet from day one is to destroy the Death Star. Every time I revisit “Star Wars,” I have to question for a second whether or not Luke is going to get those missiles into the hole, but sure enough, a clear strike every time.

The added bonus here is that the old bastard Gran Moff Tarkin gets blown to pieces along with all the Imperial forces working on the Death Star. Although his character isn’t that significant, he deserved it for blowing up Alderaan, which is one of the biggest dick moves in film history.

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1. Jaws – “Smile”

Easily one of the best deaths in film if for nothing but the mere satisfaction and sigh of relief, I’m lucky enough that it happened to be an explosion. After a grueling two hours of beast destroying man, that old rubber shark gets what was coming to him as Roy Scheider aims a rifle at the SCUBA tank lodged in the sharks’ mouth and manages to score a hit, turning the shark into a bloody fountain of sorts. The lucky bullet hit just in time to cover up the vulgar part of Scheider’s now-infamous line: “Smile, you son of a bitch!”