Winter is a season where bad movies are like landmines. These are all the movies every year that the studios lost confidence in so they release them during months when the box office historically does so-so and cross the fingers on making money back through a surprise hit. The only exception is usually Valentine’s Day weekend, which has become competitive since Will Smith and Hitch broke records back in 2005.
The reason for the landmine analogy is that a lot of these movies seem either cute, cool, funny or good in premise (the reason the studio made them in the first place) but they’re actually something terrible.
That’s where I come in. More critical than ever is my winter list of movies not to see for this reason (at least so I believe). I think some of them speak for themselves, but some of them are ever so deceiving, using techniques like hot (as in currently popular) actors/actresses and excessive trailer shenanigans.
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5. Valentine’s Day (Feb. 12)

The Word: Can you count the number of stars in this film? I would venture a large population of Americans can’t – and so a large population of Americans will go see Valentine’s Day, the more explicitly named version of last year’s star-studded He’s Just Not That Into You. Let’s see how I do: Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Patrick Dempsey, Topher Grace, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner (gasp!), Emma Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Queen Latifah, Shirley MacLaine, George Lopez and … Julia Roberts! Okay, I cheated. The trailer is like a visual word search of stars and then it tries to sneak in Roberts right at the end, who probably agreed because the man who made her famous, Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman) directs.
My Thoughts: I certainly trust a guy like Garry Marshall to properly direct a romantic comedy, so this could end up being watchable, but it really bothers me when studios sign a dozen or so big names to be in a film because they’re only in it for several minutes so they can pay them less. Then they expect us to go because it has “so many good people in it.” If He’s Just Not That Into You had been well-received last year, maybe I sing a different tune, but I’m not about to get starry-eyed and blindly shell money out for this one. Read the rest of this entry »